The Creative Space of Natalie Krill 

The Demon Inside

I tried to push the pain away for so long, until there was nowhere else for it to be pushed and it started to push back. Learning to embrace my pain and darkness is what has brought me healing and wholeness. There is a power and a beauty in seeing your darkness as a valuable part of yourself.


Some days the demon inside is strong

She scratches and tears and threatens to break my will


She is old and big and reminds me of a time

When there was no light

When there was so much pain


At first when she returns I feel afraid

She scares me for she seems so dark and mean


She mutters hateful words and changes my face

She kicks and screams and pulls me under


I scream out, why?

What do you want from me?

Why do you put me through this?

Why do you hurt me so?


She screams and shouts back

I believe her words

I break

I am broken

She stands over me


As I lay there shaking and scared

Broken and a mess

I open my eyes and I see a tear fall from the demons eye


She too is broken

I see the sadness in her dark broken heart


This demon is a part of me

She only wants to be held

She only wants to be seen


I hold her shaking, trembling body and see her cruelty for what it is

Her pain


As I hold her and cradle her in my gentle love

I see her dark beauty and no longer am I afraid


She has battled true evil for me

She is always there for me


I see her battle wounds

She is fierce and loyal

She is me

I am her


She is wild


I am grateful for her gravity

Grateful for her courage

I am grateful for the pain.

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